He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
