I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My liver just had a heart attack.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
