You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
