Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
