She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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