Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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