Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
