So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
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