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• (586): View more from Michigan

  In the future we'll all be gay

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

  Fav 26 4176 2184

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.

  Fav 12 4891 1952

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• (786): View more from Florida

  She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

  Fav 13 5817 2269

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Turn on the Discovery Channel

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting

  Fav 6 882 600

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (316): View more from Kansas

  Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  He meets the coolest people when he's drunk

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger

  (406): View more from Montana

  For Who flesh?

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• (518): View more from New York

  Why does your place smell like gin and misery?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon

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