Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
