haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months