it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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