is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
