I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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