8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
