She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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