so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
