YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
