"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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