that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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