just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
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