Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
