You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
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I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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