I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
not ubering you a puppy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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