i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize