Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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