Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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