your thong is hanging out like whoa
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i barfeds in our rink
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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