I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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