you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
