I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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