I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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