you guys were way drunker than both of me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
