I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
