Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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