Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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