seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
