The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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