My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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