batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
