I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
