We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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