me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize
