You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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