i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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