I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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