But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
