There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
