I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
