I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
