ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
