you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
