Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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