The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
