In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize