now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
