All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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