I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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