what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Found your dick twin last night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
