do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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