she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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