i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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