I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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