just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
