Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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