i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
