..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize