Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
