Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
