I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
