one two three fourrrrnication!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ttyl tear gas
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
