Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
